DISCLAIMER: We at My Cup Condom™ understand that rape, sexual assault, and drink spiking are traumatic and life altering events. We understand and sympathize with how sensitive this topic is, we believe it is very brave and important to share stories of survivors to raise awareness. Please be advised that some stories may be triggering for those who have dealt with traumatic events and/or those who are sensitive to this topic. If you need counseling of any kind, please reach out to a mental health professional.
A few years ago, I would talk on and off with a guy that I thought was so handsome on Facebook. We ended up being on a dating app and eventually he asked me out again, so I said ok. He said his car was in the shop, so I picked him up. He gave me the directions and we went to this dive bar. In my mind I was thinking like this is where you wanted to go? I don’t like to drink right away because I like to look at my surroundings, so he had a drink and then we went to the back and sat at a table, and I believe I had a drink when we went back. He asked me if I wanted another drink and I said yes. He brought me my drink back and it felt like within 10 minutes I was getting extremely drunk, and I remember telling him that. He told me to take my cup with me because we were ready to go and I wasn’t done. He drove and we stopped at a gas station, and I remember I messenger called one of my friends at the time. We got to his apartment, and I remember walking up the steps and sitting on his couch and I started to feel nauseous, so he gave me a bag. How we got into his room and what happened I have no recollection of. The next morning, I ASSUMED I had sex with him, but I didn’t remember because (I thought) I drank too much. That whole week at work I remember telling co-workers I must be getting old because I felt hungover the whole week. A few months later I received a DM from a friend who said to call her after work. I’m not the type of person who can wait so I called her and she asked me specific questions and knew specific things that I could answer. Apparently, he had started videotaping me as soon as we started walking up the steps to his apartment. He sent the video to my ex-boyfriend for some unknown reason to this day. I’ve never felt so low and dirty and just humiliated. Everyone saw the video but me. I reached out to extended family members that knew him personally and when I told them they went straight to the source, and he said, “I don’t know that b*tch” but because we had talked so much, I knew specific things that proved he was lying. I never reported it to the police because I was embarrassed, I didn’t think I would be believed because I didn’t have the video, and it was like I just wanted to move on and try to forget it. Then COVID began and all I had was time. Time to think about EVERYTHING. During that time, I hid in my house and had so much anxiety and fear that I would not leave my house. But my dad being a pastor he found out, and one thing he always taught me was to forgive. Until I could forgive, I did a lot of praying and working with my psychiatrist and just needed to understand what happened and forgive him. I’ve completely forgave him for what he did, but I’ll never forget. I am still working on my social anxiety and not feeling so unsafe being outside of my comfort zones, but I’m doing better than I have in a while and I’m stronger today because of it.
-Alyssia (Pittsburgh, PA)